Most couples at various stages of their relationships struggle with conflict or disharmony. These issues can often be resolved but often for many reasons, the relationship deteriorates and communication and connection begin to fade. Resentment and anger begin to escalale and the feelings of closeness and that feeling of closeness that you once experienced, seems to be disappearing day by day. Generally one or both partners begin to avoid the other and any hope of reconnection begins to seem impossible.
Couples counselling enables both parties to feel heard in a calm environment. Connection is encouraged and if both parties are wanting to reconnect then the conflict can be deescalated. Sometimes it may need an initial session to understand what your partner is looking for in the relationship. The immediate goal of the session is to create an atmosphere of safety, openness and care and to be able to take the time to talk about your issues and how they are affecting your life together. With work, families and life there is often just not that valuable space to allocate towards the many issues that couples often face in their relationship. We will spend the first session talking about what has brought you to this point and the changes and goals that you would like to achieve. The idea is to understand the problems, get a clear understanding of how they happen and to begin to change the patterns of the conflict in the relationship.
It is possible for trust to be restored and intimacy to be rediscovered through the care and expertise of the therapist helping you through your difficulties. The anxiety that you had with your relationship problems can begin to diminish and life generally begins to seem easier.
Amount of Sessions Required
The amount of sessions that you require can vary from one or two sessions to ten or more. Each couple is very different and our counsellors understand that often circumstances can be quite complicated. The challenge for each partner is to begin to unravel each of your stories and through a new awareness of both yourself and your partner, you begin to be able to see things differently.
Taking the First Step
Once you have decided that your relationship is becoming difficult and a constant pattern of conflict or lack of communication is the norm, the next step is to take action.
You will discover that an experienced couples counsellor is calm, understanding and non-judgemental. The main issues you are both experiencing will be heard - both having time to expressing your feelings. Most importantly you strong feelings of discontent will be recognised and understood for possibly the first time in a long time. The session is not one-sided but a chance for both parties to be open, honest and most importantly safe.
Usually your history will be discussed. Issues such as your family history, prior relationships, physical and mental health issues will be looked at as well as other significant events in your life. Just listening to your partner's stories is insightful and often they are descriptions of things you may not have heard about for a long time if ever. It is often the untold stories or the forgotten ones that is still very present in your partner's life.
The subsequent sessions and timing are discussed between the counsellor and the couple. The counsellor is guided by what works best for you.
Just to feel heard is a positive beginning.
"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family."
Our RIchmond rooms are conveniently located to service people from areas such as Melbourne CBD, South Yarra, East Melbourne, Prahran, Hawthorn, South Melbourne
Please call our qualified relationship specialists to discuss how we can help you get started.